Imagining LOVE!

As little girls we read fairytales and we were taught that all stories have and happy ending.  Growing up, we never thought that fairytales don’t always come true.  We step into our relationships with hope, and fall in love to create a life that is filled with fairytales and happily ever after, the end. No one wakes up and say, that they want their relationship or their marriage to not to work. Often times as women we imagine what our relationships would be like before we enter in, and most often before we even meet the person.  I have learned that what causes us to linger in our pain, stay longer than we should after it’s over is our imagination.  We make attempts to create this fairytale while our reality says to us, ‘this is over or that maybe they don’t feel the same about you.’ We rationalize, and fantasize about the possibilities of what could have been? 

I know all too well what it’s like to fall in love with a person in my imagination.  I imagined what it would be like if we were still together, or what it would be like if I were in a relationship with this person?  But the truth is that’s not how the story goes! What brought me to this conclusion was my prayer to the Lord, of why did this happen to me again? Why do I love someone who doesn’t love me the same? Why do I want to date someone who doesn’t want to date me? Then, here comes the lies, with the maybe’s and the what if? When the truth is God will no longer allow me to build a life in my imagination! For me to know that there is a difference in having faith and living in a fairytale.  I realized that by creating this love story in my imagination that I was only creating a story full of lies and deception.  I realized that I was lying to myself! I learned that in order for me to be healed that I had to face the truth and the truth is, this person was not for me.  The bible declares, ‘that we shall know the truth and the truth will make us free.’

 I had to face the fact that in order for God to heal me, I had to look at the truth. That I could no longer lie to myself, I am getting older and I don’t want to keep repeating the same cycle of imagining love.  It was so hard for me to comprehend the fact that I had built my relationships on fairytales or for the lack of a better term my imagination.  When we live in our imagination we decorate the truth with excuses. When we live in our imagination we bandage our reality with ointment called deception. I had to start a real conversation with myself that said, ‘if you are going to be free, if you are going to be healed, if you are going to love yourself then you must get rid of the fairytales.’ Whenever I started to imagine the what if’s and the possibilities, I would immediately tell myself the truth and cast down the imagination.  

At the end of last year I started praying, ‘God teach me how to love me?’ I didn’t realize that part of that process was letting some people go, or even stepping out of my imagination into reality. To face the fact that some relationships just weren’t meant to be and that hurts.  I learned that when you are learning to love yourself this means that you will make better decisions concerning yourself. Part of that is to tell yourself the TRUTH.  You cannot make better decisions living in your imagination.

  • Confront your imagination – what story did you create in your mind? How did it blind you from the truth?
  • Challenge Your Imagination – when thoughts, possibilities, and maybe’s arise challenge them by reminding yourself of the truth. Truth is?
  • Cast it down – I realized that in those moments that I needed to ask the Lord to help me cast it down. I had to overcome the thoughts of what did I do? Why didn’t they want me? What’s wrong with me? Etc.
  • Cast Your Cares on God – I knew that He was taking me through this process for a reason. It is so that my latter days would be greater than my former. So that, I can start building a life not based on fiction but on fact. That God’s love for me is real and that with Him I can have and happy ever after.

I am Beautifully Speaking,



1 comment

  • Good evening, I just wanted to share how this article blessed me and so many others at my job. I shared with on co-worker and it truly inspired her, she has gone on to share with other friends and family. It is an eye opener to how we as women and truly trick ourselves and get lost in relationships. Just wanted to let you know that your words are a blessing and we look forward to what else you have in store!! Thank you!

    Nicole Woodley

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